Away from home and heavily involved in a series of meetings, I only planned to quickly scan the prayer requests emailed from our Sowing Seeds Ministry website. But my heart skipped a beat as I read the following three letters. All arrived within hours of each other their intent very clear. Names have been removed to protect their identity and the stories have been shortened somewhat but you are reading their very real pleas for help… their cries of anguish… their desperate need for hope.
Letter #1: “I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I went online to look up information on suicide: statistics, methods and all that stuff. I was raised in a family where I went to church every Sunday and was taught the importance of faith and God in our lives. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t help me. I got hurt…. bad… when I was a child. I was hurt in a way that no person, no little child should be hurt. I think about suicide on a daily basis… sometimes it’s all that I can think about. I’ve been hospitalized for attempts before. I’ve been put on medications to help the depression… the mental disorders that doctors are so quick to diagnose. I’m sick of it all. Why should I bother trying anymore? I’m not even afraid of dying. I’m not afraid of pain. I just want to leave this world. Please pray for me. I’m tired of trying.”
Letter #2: “I am writing this letter because soon I will hear what I have not wanted to hear. I wrote you a letter about my son who is charged with capital murder of his father. Well, I found out two days ago that his case is going to the circuit court. He is charged with both robbery and capital murder. Before I see my son get the death sentence I will take my own life. I can no longer go through this any more. I keep trying but can’t hold on any longer. I am hurting inside deeply… I am all alone, since nobody has ever cared for me. I no longer want to live in this world full of hate and hurt. It is me that has to watch my son and I would rather shoot myself. Like I told my counselor today, I don’t want to live anymore.”
Letter #3: “As I read your story on suicide, I think it is so easy to sit and judge those that do kill themselves… I know how bad I feel and totally hopeless and that I am not doing my kids any good… so why not commit suicide? I guess I am writing for prayers because I know I shouldn’t kill myself but I just cannot get the strength to go on anymore. I read the verse you had (“If I walk in darkness without one ray of light let me trust the Lord, let me rely upon God.” Isaiah 50:10) but I also believe that God would not give us more then we can handle and I have more than I can handle.”
I carefully wrote a reply to all three writers pleading for time to forward their message to other members of our prayer team. To each, I offered no answers but promised to begin praying for them immediately. After clicking “Send Mail” and seeing the last reply leave the computer and head toward the recipient, I poured a fresh cup of coffee to calm my nerves and earnestly began to pray.
More than 32,000 Americans commit suicide every year and over a million suicides occur worldwide or one person every 40 seconds. Attempts are estimated at over ten times that amount. The Sowing Seeds Ministry website articles on suicide regularly receive more than five hundred visitors a month and our worldwide prayer ministry website processes several letters each week contemplating suicide.
What motivates someone to consider the ultimate act of desperation? Other letters offer a few clues:
- I was suicidal all of my life. I had a tape playing in my head that said “I want to die”.
- My husband left after 31 years and I really reached bottom.
- I was physically abused by my parents as a young child. So when the man next door started doing things to me when I was four, I didn’t trust my parents to tell.
- I’m 22 years old. I don’t trust anyone. I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder, and post traumatic stress disorder. I rely on medication to keep me happy enough to stay alive. I forgot to pray. I haven’t prayed in a year.
Why would God want to hear from a wasted miserable loser like me? When I was a child, I used to pray to be allowed to die. It didn’t happen.
Hours later, I was still fervently praying for three miracles yet I had no idea what to do or how to begin. This was a life and death situation with no “safe” answers. Throughout the evening I continued praying and worrying. Later, I discovered God provided those three precious miracles. It’s a great story you will not want to miss next week. Meanwhile, if you’re thinking of committing suicide? Please, think again!
If you are considering suicide or know someone who is… call for help: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or click on www.suicidehotlines.com
Our website has helped many who have considered suicide. Click here to read more.
Nichole · September 24, 2011 at 3:29 pm
I believe that there is no difference between someone who is terminally Ill and someone who has repeated, untreatable or somewhat treatable mental disorders. It is viewed so differently when someone with a “physical” illness decides to die with dignity verses when someone with a mental disorder decides to do the same. The news reports suicide victims when the reason is not publicized as much as for instance a cancer victim but that is usually because mental illnesses are not as much understood as physical illnesses. Mental disorders are more difficult to get treatment for and most insurance companies do not cover the treatments as well. The cost of the medications are enormous and how many fund raiser do you hear about for patients suffering from depression? Many mental disorders are perceived to be self inflicted and commonly are discussed by saying “they should just quit feeling sorry for themselves, stop over reacting and just do something to change the situation”. This is not the case and is not easily diagnosed or treatable. Mental illnesses are not as acceptable, understood or compensated for. Unless the person is mentally retarded, autistic, ADD etc., most people do not empathize or understand the diagnoses. Let’s face it, everyone in the world has probably been depressed at one time or another and most are able to overcome their depression. The people who are unable to are labeled as weak, cowards and cruel to the people that have to associate with them. There are hundreds of types of mental disorders and thousands of possible treatments for such disorders however finding the right treatment can be a tedious, time consuming, expensive experience. Most of the drugs available for such treatment take weeks if not months to begin working and more times then not the first treatment recommended is not successful so the experimental treatments start all over. People with the severe cases usually are not able to work steady jobs, do not have insurance and disability benefits for these illnesses are almost impossible to qualify for. So what is the difference between a physical ill and a mentally ill person who chooses to die? When a cancer patient decides to stop treatments they are given comfort measures, offered support such as Hospice services and are allowed to die with dignity. When a mentally I’ll patient decides to end their life it is considered selfish, cruel and unnecessary. The only difference between the two is that the time before natural death is unknown for a mentally I’ll person where a cancer patient is given a more specific time frame. Both types of illnesses cause extreme pain, struggles and strife. Cancer shows more of a physical handicap but mental disorders cause extreme emotional trauma and a more painful, slow death process. Most side effects for medications of the mentally I’ll have severe side effects which in turn cause a whole other set of obstacles to overcome. Mentally I’ll patients usually have to choose a more violent death process because as stated before, they are not offered comfort measures that would allow them to die pain free and with dignity. No one makes fun, belittles or discriminates against physically I’ll people but they do for the millions of people with mental disorders. There is no shame in admitting having cancer but there is in admitting that you are bipolar. My point is that people who choose to end their lives due to mental illnesses are not doing so because of the illness causing them to make an unreasonable decision about life, they are not selfish or wrong, they are simply relieving pain that would haunt them the rest of their lives. It effects every person in their lives and because of the lack of understanding by others, they are perceived as being wrong…but I don’t see any difference between them and a physically I’ll person dying with dignity. They are not doing it for themselves but more so to end the suffering of the people that they care the most about.
violet · July 19, 2012 at 8:02 am
Totally true n relevant.I, like many others out there, with a diseased mind, wanted to end it all without furher ado to relive our loved ones from the trauma and pain . Let me live nd die with that pain and spare my loved ones from ……………..
Randy · October 14, 2012 at 6:48 am
Wow! I just had to say how well written and right on you are. I agree with you 100%
Ross Creuswell · October 4, 2011 at 1:25 am
Hey, this is an important topic. Thanks so much for talking about this painful subject with candor and compassion. Could you please share the late David Wilkerson’s suicide note? Oh wait, never mind… it’s the last entry on his blog.
sami · October 5, 2011 at 11:50 pm
hi , i just wanna say some words if that’s okay .. first of all , if depression reaches to the mind of human being and atheism reaches to its end , then human being starts to think how to kill her/ himself or how to commit suicide but believer in GOD would never do that because no matter how dark her*his world gets , she / he would have hope and little patient, knows that every cloud has silver lining and a harmful thing can bring out benefits . Human being, after hunger is getting full , after thirst is irrigation, after staying up is to fall sleep , after sickness is getting healed , if you see very expanded desert , knows that behind it green land, if u see very expand mountains , knows that it will end.
humans, i challenge anyone who has seen an animal is killing its self or commit suicide.
there are 2 kinds of suicides , person who is atheist doesn’t believe in GOD ‘n think of this life is a game in game!!, universe found as coincidence and sees her/ his life and death is alike, and the second is person who lost her/his awareness , becomes blind , and acting like a crazy but believers in GOD knows that with patience , she/ he will see the light no matter how hard situation is and knows that after doing that horrible act she/ he will go to hell GOD FORBIDDEN because We are blessed with this life .
my mother GOD arrests her soul once said to me don’t look high , sooner or later your neck will hurt you just and i asked her what do you mean ? she said ” you are blessed with house , food and no sickness and some has no home to live or has diseases or no food so whenever you feel sad or depressed or lost someone , just think that there are people who has worse situations than you are , and i always do that till now ,
the conclusion is may GOD Guide you all to the right path ,
saudi arabia , sami
Alex · October 20, 2011 at 2:12 am
Sami, your words are unfathomably misguided. Belief in God and/or an intrinsic understanding that there are people in the world worse off than one’s self is no more effective in treating a mental disorder than it is in treating a broken leg. Having faith in God will not unbreak your brain any better than it will unbreak your leg. I don’t think you understand the difference between depression and sadness. It’s the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it.
As for animal suicide, yes, it does exist, most often in the form of willful starvation after the death of a mate, playmate, hunting mate, or human master.
Wrong. · October 22, 2011 at 2:02 am
A month ago i was released from the hospital after staying there 6 months for attempting suicide. And now I’m about to try again. I am insane. I have been diagnosed with depression, bipolar disorder, ptsd, ODD and more which I have never been made aware of. I cannot stand myself. I hate being me. I am a monster to myself and everyone around me. I’ve been beaten by my parents to the point where there was blood. I was raped and I cannot trust anyone to tell. People who i thought were my friend have left me alone in a cemetery while i was having an asthma attack and coughing up blood. I’ve ruined every relationship (romantic or friendly) that i’ve ever been in. I cannot tell you how much i pray for another chance. How much i want to run away to Virginia and start over 1000s of miles away. And how much i know it will never work. Even if i was a million miles away where no one knew i would still have this paranoia, depression, anger. I will never be happy again. God has forbidden me from happiness.
So i want to die. I want to make everyone around me happy and just not be here anymore. I don’t deserve a chance at life. I am a mistake.
All i have is my boyfriend. And i know that soon will fail him as well..
larrydavies · October 23, 2011 at 9:28 am
I just want you to know that I received your posting and will be praying for you. I pray that you will feel a sign from God that will give you more hope and self assurance. I pray you will see the harm that taking your life will do to your future and to the lives of many others. Most of all, I pray you feel God’s presence in a way that will give you strength. I will be sharing your post with our prayer chain so that hundreds of others will join me in prayijng for you. I encourage you to read 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 and understand God’s comfort so that you can comfort others. God bless, Larry
brittany · October 31, 2011 at 3:49 am
why am i so ugly.
why am i so fat.
why did mt dad have to a alcholic.
why did my step dad be abusive.
why did my my moms boyfriend have to be soo…touchy..
why does my mom never listen to me..and only worry about her pregnancy..
why did my older brother have to live with my real dad.
why did my little brother and sister have to live with my stepdad..
why am i on this medicane, that dont help me..
why do i have to see this councler..
why do i have to live with cutting my self to make the pain go away..
i dont want to die..
but why does it lead me to think of it all the time.
John · December 5, 2011 at 11:20 am
Last year this time I fell 2 1/2 stories only fracturing my foot in several places needing major surgery…..but
Today I have very strong emotional feelings that i cant carry on anymore…. It has all just built up to a point that I just feel end it now and dont cause anyone else any more pain. It would be better, I have hurt the woman I love by betraying her trust,doing something I said i would not do. She has forgiven me but things arent the same anymore, it all feels that I am a constant reminder of pain to her.
Maybe it is better to end it and move on
larrydavies · December 6, 2011 at 10:34 am
John, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Even though you are going through a difficult time, I know there is always something beyond. God has plans even in the midst of difficulties. Please don’t saddle your friends and loved ones with the guilt of wondering if they could of only done something to prevent it. I pray God will give you a sign very soon that will help you find the strength to move on. Look at 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 and look for the comfort that is there. Also you will see God’s plan for you to help others who are suffering by sharing the suffering you experience. Please know that I will be praying for you today. God bless, Larry
nadya · December 10, 2011 at 3:03 am
death salvation peace it would be nice if i just can dispair
why was i born ? why someone just won’t kill me if killing myself is a sin then why someone wont save me won’t kill me
i dont want anything and nothing can satisfy me nothing can make me really happy no one understande me why can’t i just die
those were my thought since i was 13 since last year when i met some one who chnaged me
im now more positif about life thanks to her my one ad oly fried and rival
I beleive in god => if i kill myself ill go to hell i dot want to escape from pain by going to hell + there are still stuffs that i enjoy
i didnt have problems with ppl
n oone trylly hates me
my parents love me
my teacher always prise me
i get good grades since elimentary school to university
im not verry good at sports but im really fast and im not fate nor ugly no one ever laughed at me
that make me kind of sad i want to be more normal
my sister is really “stupid” she can do her best but always fail she had problems with her boyfrind and always crying …AS HER OPPSIte i’ve never fall in love with someone i wonder how it feel like…
what really saved me was my friend bec she was just like me and we really got along well too bad i cant see her anymore
ah there is some thing
it didnt help me much but it really made me think over my life ..
and as for asking for prayers … ill pray for u all
but life is really some thing
i love manga and its like magic that make my brain wash
its not a sollution but reading writting watching can make the sufforance much less
and if u really wonna die
u dont know how death looks like so its better to not have regrets
alissa decker · February 9, 2012 at 3:16 pm
hello my name is alissa decker and i am working on a paper for school on suicide and their is a lot on resiols that pepole want to coment suicede and one resion is i have a frind on she is kinda over waight and she get picked on alot so i just wanted to encureg you peploe out their that feel that way my name is alissa decker an i am 13 years ol and want to help people that comtempet sueside
Sandy · February 29, 2012 at 4:10 pm
I will be 56 tomorrow. I am a mental health “patient”. I have tried to commit suicide a couple of times. I am a strong believer in god. Now that I’m on all the right med’s I can think clearer about things. I ended my marriage after 30+ years. I have two son’s. One hates me and the other barely likes me. I have grandchildren but can’t see or talk to 6 of them – parents won’t let me. I was raped when I was about 8 or 10 by my brothers – this went on for months. My ex was pushy and verbally abusive. What I have now is NOTHING. So, I developed a plan to kill myself. I bought everthing I need including a nice big bottle of wine. I’ve written my suicide letter. Now I just wait for the right time to do it. I live by myself so I would bet that once I do it, it will take weeks for someone to find me. I think god will forgive me.
zanele Nc · March 9, 2012 at 11:10 pm
I am in south Africa,I am a 20year old girl my life has always been a mistake,I had a **** who reapetedly abused me.I was sexually abused from an early age,raped,beaten up,no one cared for me,I lost my self esteem.I am dealing with a lot now,I can not face the world,I feel lik killing myself all the times,I want to go back to school bt um just a person without even a a I’d,I hev no one,It is better I die,no one loves me,I hev no education,how can life be this hard,what wil I be tommorrw withous edecation,I have tried evrywere,bt no lucky,I jus want to die and get over this.kip well my time has come,
larrydavies · March 11, 2012 at 8:43 am
First, I want to say that your life has never been a mistake. Somehow, God will use your life in a way that will bring good to yourself and to others. Despite your abuse, you are loved by God and just by telling your story to others you could be helping others who are facing much the same experiences. I pray you will feel a miracle of knowing God loves you very soon. I pray that you will feel an inner strength you never had before. I pray you will know how much you are loved and how important you and your life is to others. Please know that I and many others will be praying for you.
shiva · August 1, 2012 at 10:34 am
i just wann die!!!! bt i know i m so cowrd dat i can’t kill my self … all is well in my . doctor father nyc loving ma . sweet bro nyc sisters .. very sweet frnds … just one of ma mistake has vanished everything . i fal in love nd now he just wann sex he abuse me .. he torchers me .. its worth to tolerate .. i cant see my self like dis ….. dancing on his fingures… its nyc to end as soon as i could… bt i cant wenever i try suicide i remember my family nd everything goes helpless for me..plz help me
larrydavies · August 5, 2012 at 7:48 am
Please know that I am praying for you today for God to give you courage and strength. May you see and feel God’s presence in a very real way today.
Andre Weber · August 6, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Shiva you are not the person you suppose to be or living the life you suppose to be living. Life has so much more installed for you and you have so much more to bless this life with. The world is waiting for the true Shiva to come forth. Get out of the relationship that is leading you down the wrong road. He is not the right person for you, don’t be dependant on him, you have a blessed destiny ahead of you. Turn to your family who loves you and you love dearly, share your heart completely with them and you will be guided to the right road so that the reason why you in this world will become clear and you can fulfil that purpose. You have been born for a purpose. God loves and cares about you so much. God Bless you as you make the right decision. firstname.lastname@example.org
zanele Nc · October 13, 2012 at 6:30 am
Its 8months later and I might die toda,my sister whose husband abused mPe sent me this letter on my wall were everyone can see,pple er calling me names,I was only 8yrs but today I cnt tek thc pain.
This is the message from my sister:You devil,back then you were a little devil,you stole my husband the man I loved.you slept with him,and got him arrested for things he did not do.For your selfish reasons I want to see you suffer till you die.Ncuncu you were young yes but why did you let it happn,you are evil idiot,at a young age you were already sleeping around,I wonder what you are doing now.I will never forgive you for making uvylet angabi lobaba.it is your fault.not mine.you are a cheap slut beach.I will do everything in my power to see you die n rot in hell.Evil thing
Um dead my own sister has killed me goodbye.
zanele Nc · October 13, 2012 at 6:31 am
I cry for help somebody save me from myself,I don’t know what else to do.
Brittany · October 17, 2012 at 9:24 pm
Everyday for years now, I have had suicide thoughts. I grew up in a family filled with drugs, lies, and carelessness. I have felt unwanted, dirty, hated, mistaken, and mistreated. People hate me because of the life I was given. Girls get mad because I am pretty. I just want it all to end. Everything I have ever had has been taken from me. No one cares about me. They all lie. I’m always being picked on because my Mom does drugs. By parents and their kids. People think I do drugs. They call me a meth head and a slut and say I’ll never be anything or get anywhere in life. My best friend told me that, all because her boyfriend has a crush on me. Her boyfriend that she barely knows. I am so sick of the hate in this world. No one listens to me. Everyone around me is always so messed up that they don’t care; about anything. I have nothing to live for. All my brothers and sisters have left me because their dads had money. But me, I’m stuck here. While my parents are abusing.
larrydavies · October 18, 2012 at 8:36 am
Brittany, I just want you to know that I read your comment and I will be praying for you this week. I pray you are especially able to find someone, either a counselor at school or elsewhere or someone that you can talk to. I pray you receive some encouragement and I especially pray that you realize that you were put on this earth for a reason. As you seek to find it, you may find these very experiences that have hurt you so much may allow you to help others going through the same thing. There is a passage in 2 Corinthians in the Bible, chapter one, verses 4-7 you may find helpful. It is about God’s comfort in the midst of struggle. Please know that my prayers will be with you. God bless, Larry
mel · October 21, 2012 at 5:18 pm
I too am reading these responses. I too am coming to a point where I am ready to give up. I began going to church regualarly 3 years ago and have a strong belief in Jesus but no matter what I cannot connect with people. Everytime I try either I hurt them or they hurt me. Everyone says just lean on Jesus and make Him the most important One in my life. I do not see the point when I can just go be with Him. Life hurts too much and I am too old to be healed. I see a christian counselor who counsels me biblically, but I think it is really too late for me to ever know what it is like to feel loved or to love correctly. Too late to know what it feels like to belong and to be wanted. Too late for me to learn to trust. I don’t even believe people when they say they pray for me. I think it is just lip service. I am coming to the point where I do not believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Carmen · November 5, 2012 at 10:49 pm
I’ll start by saying I’ve never wanted to kill myself.I know some people have to believe in something to feel safe.But I think God is overrated.Why should god be the most important one in your life?Why should he judge the things that are in people’s nature(like having sex for pleasure not for reproduction).I think everyone has the right to choose and we either make good or bad choices,that is the way it is.What you think is a good choice for you does not apply to others.That’s because we people are so different.Church brainwashes people and creates uniformity.Like communism,fascism.The bible tells you what to think and you believe it because you are afraid to think for yourself and face this world alone-that is the choice for me and my opinion,you have the right to believe in anything you want.
In the subject of suicide,I think a good therapist would help.Asking for God to help with your depression is like a wooden leg massage.If you have been abused,it is not you fault,it’s never been your fault and you should’t feel dirty,guilty or ashamed about it.Many abused children,after some time,start enjoying the abuse and become addicted to the abuse and the abuser,even fall in love.It’s hate mixed with love,pain,guilt,shame,addiction.That’s a psychological phenomenon.If people tease you it’s because they are insecure and ignorant.Teasing,harassing,abuse DO NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE,what you are,what you will be.It defines the people who abuse/harass/tease you.You should’t let anyone and anything dictate who you are or who you should be.Find out what YOU want and what makes YOU happy.An awful past is still a past and it’s not called future.The right to choose,to think for yourself,the right to be your own person and the right to start over and change everything you don’t like about your life or yourself are your most precious gifts.Most of all,life is a gift even though you might not see that right now.
bekah · November 9, 2012 at 1:27 am
As I read these responses, I realize that I’m not alone in what I’m going through. I’ve been diagnoses with Bipolar, depression and a ton of other things and nothing helps. My parents think its a fase that I’ve been going through since i was a 16 which happens to be the first time i tried to kill myself. Over the last 7 years I have tried to kill myself more times then I can count because I feel like I am worthless and have nothing to live for. Then I met Andrew and for 2 years we had alot of ups and downs. On the first of November was our 2 year anniversary then on the 7th I get a text message from him saying he doesnt want to be with me anymore. This sent everything into a downward spiral of self loath and hatered that I’m sitting here with over 70 pills and a bottle of alcohol while our daughter sleeps in the next room. I don’t know what to do, I have prayed over and over again that God would somehow take all my pain away, but relief never comes. I’m so tired of the pain I’m in I just want it to go away and this is the only way to make it go away.
zanele · January 17, 2013 at 10:19 am
t all began on the 1st of december 2012.When you were diagonised with the rare Cancer.Atypical teroid rhabdoid Tumor…..After a month of fighting your battle ended….
Lastnight my life changed.I lost the only boy in my life.I lost the only man in my life,I lost the apple of my eye.I lost my love ,my joy,my angel.I tried to cry but I failed,crying to me wld mean um letting you go,um not gonna cry not todei nor the day after nor the month afte,I will stand tall,I will celebrate your life,little cars and little trucks will remind me of you Lwandile.you were my joy,still are,and forever will be.
I hear the sound of a bycilce outside,I rimember how much you loved riding yours,I see tha smile in Oliver s face the love he has for me and the love I hav for him and I know thay in him there is comfort.You did not leave me with nobody,you left me with Oliver,he s the only son I have now.You meant the world to me,I can not begin to explain how torn apart I was last night,but you took my heart with you.we are still together,we will hug like we used to.smile,giggle,laugh and sing together,,”blah blah black shoe,have any more,yes I yes I”your song you so loved.prepare a place for me and all your beloved on in heaven,ask God to favour us,tell God we want to be delivered.we will meet you there.
Oliver screams reminding me of the way you would scream when you wanted “juice”he’s my boss s child but he holds a portion of my heart,he’s your brother Lwandile Awa,he will sadly miss you,but you choose not to be forgotten,you will live in our hearts and in our souls you wil always be a the most strongest soul ave come across.I ll forever love you..My Angel,,,,
Pass my regards to God tell him about me,and ask him to guide us and give us strength to accept that you are with him.tell him how much we love him.till we meet you and God someday.We love you,,,,
This is what my friend is going through,sample of what she wrote as “Cancer You ve Robbed me of a Son”
I realised how fregile life is and I erased all the thoughts of suicide…
Heavens bless you all…
shahzad saleem · May 4, 2013 at 4:57 pm
hello all i want to so far my self from my parrents and from my love i want quit from my life as i am totaly melencoly from my life and my heart is been broken by my love and i dont want to live in this fake world want to leave all this stuffi things and i want to say sory to my parrents and my love sory all bye and also onething that please i dont want to be live in this world and want to die please pray for me
bye friends and all good bye …..
I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!I Quit…..!!!!!!!!
Alishia · May 16, 2013 at 6:38 pm
It’s hard dealing with a mental disorders. I have bipolar, PTSD, ADHD, and depression. I was raped by my father and a having a hard time dealing with it now, my husband just don’t understand me and says I have no self esteem. I just want all this pain to go away nut I don’t want to leave it behind to hinder my son and family. I can’t keep living like this and refuse to keep living like this. Good bye world just don’t fail again
C.Dixon · June 20, 2013 at 12:29 pm
2 weeks ago today, my ex, hung himself. Today I find myself looking for a way to understand why he chose to do it. I understand wanting to die. I understand feeling that there is no one that gives a shit. I understand feeling all alone in a crowd of strangers or a room full family. I too have tried suicide as a teenager and felt like a loser because I couldn’t even get that right. I have been raped, beaten and abandoned. I have been an alcoholic and a drug addict, a gambling addict and workaholic. I have been labelled with ADD, OCD, anxiety disorder and manic depressive. I have been to counsellors only to be told that I belong in their chair. Thanks but it doesn’t help me feel better about anything. Basically where I am going with this is no matter how crappy things are or how empty and alone you feel, find something to believe in, whether it’s another person, God or yourself. Visit an animal shelter and adopt one that has been abandoned and if you do you could save a life, which might be your own.
zanele · June 23, 2013 at 6:31 am
Nomatter how hard life can be death isn’t the answer,Let’s pray for those who are in pain.those who once felt like killing themselves.Gos saved me,he will save you,be strong and stand firm for the God of Ezekial is a faithful God,he will never leave you.
Unknown · October 16, 2015 at 11:03 pm
Sometimes it is the awnser. For me it’s the only awnser. I can’t live anymore. Please help
larrydavies · October 19, 2015 at 3:58 am
I am so sorry. I don’t have easy answers but many have been helped and now help others on our site. Please know that you are being prayed for.
jenesis · October 1, 2014 at 4:37 am
I clicked on the link for “reasons to live” and got a web page unavailable…so, I get it. but if it isnt a divine message from God telling me there are no reasons for me to live, then you should fix the link to save the next ingrate out
larrydavies · October 5, 2014 at 10:39 am
I am very sorry that you found no website. This article was written several years ago and I had not noticed that the web page was no longer in use. I have removed it. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.
Unknown · October 16, 2015 at 11:01 pm
I believe it’s ok to die and I know exactly how to do it. So I thought now all I need is a letter to tell my mum I’m not afraid to die and I want to die so I’ve got the rope and a stool I’ve also got a shed to do it in. I’m doing it tomorrow when moms at work and she thinks I’m at school. I’m sick of just cutting I want to end the physical and emotional pain by leaving this earth. And these letters are perfect. Anyone who reads this don’t worry I will be in a better place.
Another Unknown · February 27, 2016 at 7:58 pm
R.I.P I think you are Dead by now.
ZeeUndertaker · February 27, 2016 at 8:10 pm
You have the option to die, but you do not have the option live. You have a mind think with it, make your life easy with your mind, unlike other living organisms the do not have minds or even the option or the chance to choose their lives. If you do not have a reason to live, that means you have to make one by yourself. Can you tell me what can depression, frustration, giving up, despair can do to you? The answer is nothing but to hate your life, don’t expect life to be easy, you just came to life for awhile and gonna leave it after the your time arrives, so try to make your way, and try to be remembered even after Death, look at the great people whatever their fields like Albert Einstein,….etc these people are Dead by now, but we still remember them, and no one would forget them. Why don’t you be one of the legends!
amesh · August 7, 2016 at 8:12 pm
What is life? We are born to die, so inevitably it makes no difference when!
Why should we suffer? Why should we suffer seeing the suffering of millions? Why does our own family being us down? Why would a father hate and despise his own flesh and blood?
Why do we need to face a test that we never asked for?
If there is a afterlife then I don’t want this one!
If there is no after life what is the point of this one?
I am tired of trying, it’s probably my time
larrydavies · August 10, 2016 at 4:08 pm
The best answer that I have found is in 2 Corinthians 1:3-6 that simply says we receive comfort from God so that we can use that same comfort to comfort others and that is ultimately our ministry. For me, it says that I have a purpose in life and that is to help others with the experiences that I have come through. I pray God will reach you in a significant way and help you find that same purpose. Please know that I and others will be praying for you.
c · August 11, 2016 at 11:23 am
I lost my job cos of illness. Ppl talk bout trusting in god. To b honest. I suffered 6yrs alone, raising a kid alone. No one helped. No one is a coward…cos u gotta have guts n balls to take ya life. If our conditions were viewed like cancer etc. So many things wuda bn better n had sopport from right ppl. Wrk 16yrs for company n dismissed me whilst in hospital. No one will do tat for cancer patients. Y r we treated diff, labeled as crazy! No one asked for itm but u gotta pay price n having it… Is it not enough to live n struggle everyday… But cos we hide do well… Tat its OK for ppl n employers to do this? Where’s god now? I’m sorry, but instead of seeing light afta so many years, god was not there. Y let me hurt n hurt ones that I have to leave behind
larrydavies · August 17, 2016 at 3:18 pm
I am so sorry. Please know that I will be praying for you that God will help you. I wish there were easy answers to the question of why you suffer and others don’t seem to. I know God will look out for you but it’s not always in the way you would want or imagine. I also know that your friends and relatives will always prefer having you around to not. I pray that God will speak to you in a powerful way through someone else or another way and help you see the comfort and strength that can be there. God bless, Larry
laura reynolds · August 30, 2016 at 11:51 am
hello am 31years old I have took overdoses cut my arms suicide is in my head day and nite I feel like a stranger in my own body am broken inside I have lose everything am speaking through the tears I have no one my kids are out in the world and am not with them that kills so much I have no up and go I don’t go out the house am tired beyond hope everything I get my hands on I destroyed it someone said to me one this world would be a much better place with out me in it my life is shambles and I see no path forward
larrydavies · September 2, 2016 at 10:34 am
I am so sorry. Please know that is not God’s plan for you and that others are praying for you today. May God use your weakness and turn it into strength. May God bring you comfort in areas you need it most. May God help you understand comfort as give in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Unknown · October 31, 2016 at 5:48 am
Thought about suicide every day of my life before i even started kindergarten. 18 years old now might be the best choice.
larrydavies · November 1, 2016 at 11:31 pm
I am praying you find a better answer and encouragement from God.
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