Our website: www.SowingSeedsofFaith.com receives nearly one hundred prayer requests every week. At least four or five of those weekly requests are from people contemplating suicide. Our response is to circulate the requests to our 3,300 prayer partners who pray and often send through email, letters of encouragement. Over the years we have seen many potential suicides change their minds because of the persistent bombardment of loving emails received from around the world.
Michael Davis sent Sowing Seeds Ministry the following email after reading several of our devotions on the subject of suicide. His letter illustrates the despair and hopelessness of someone ready to end it all. But Michael also writes of a dramatic healing that changed his life from one filled with despair to a renewed sense of hope. As we celebrate Easter, we meet another one of God’s miracles: Michael.
I read your “Three Suicide Letters” devotion and wanted to send you my story about suicide: How God saved me from doing it. My name is Michael. My Mother said she named me after the Archangel.
I hit bottom and was very suicidal. My friends were using me and I was tired of it. I still have constant pain in my back, neck and upper body from a truck accident. I have a constant ringing in my head that keeps me awake at night. Most people seem concerned about only themselves. I thought the human race was going insane. I lost jobs due to my irritability and frustration. I was fed up with living.
I prayed many times for God to use me. I wanted to be in situations where I could help other people. I felt called to lessen the stress and pain suffered by so many but I began to feel God was not listening. I lost my purpose in life and there was no reason for me to stay around.
At one time, I was a dedicated part of a youth ministry in St. Petersburg, Florida. I went to Bible College and studied for youth ministry. But before the end of the semester I was kicked out for being a “disruptive influence”. I was asking too many questions they felt were causing harm to other’s faith. After that I left the church and Christianity. I was angry for the “brainwashing” by my youth group.
I was still seeking the truth. I prayed many times for God to lead me but I was prideful and thought I could figure out most of the truth for myself. At times it seemed I was being led back to the Christian church but I did not want to go. I even studied witchcraft and other things. I became a Tarot card reader. I felt able to help people by reading their cards and counseling them. I was really low.
By December 2001, I was at rock bottom. I was going to just “check out”. But I did manage to get help and spent fifteen days in the mental ward at a local hospital. After getting out, I still had suicidal feelings but decided to try working in a homeless shelter and see if I could get something going.
At the shelter they have nightly chapel with guest speakers from different churches. After listening to several, I began to see how God was leading me back to Him. I began reading the Bible to see if it said anything to me. I discovered God has been there all the time but I wasn’t listening. I had too much pride. I was influenced by anti-Christian friends. I lost my self-respect.
I needed to allow God to change me and He did…
There has been a major transformation in my life. I have really changed. Recently, I gave the sermon at the homeless shelter and many told me the message really touched them. I also found a church to become a part of and I am well on the road to a full, loving life serving Christ.
And to think… I had been praying for God to take my life. I guess He did, but not in the way I intended. It is so amazing how I was ready to kill myself less than a month ago but now I am happy and energetic and feel loved and secure by almighty God. Thank you for listening. Michael Davis
Are you considering suicide? Please think again! There are other options. Just ask Michael Davis. Do you want to become one of our email prayer partners? Click here
Our website has helped many who have considered suicide. Click here to read more.
If you are considering suicide or know someone who is… call for help: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or click on www.suicidehotlines.com
For an article that will answer the question: Why Live? Click here
