Breaking the Peanut Butter Habit
My young son, Stephen, loved peanut butter sandwiches. Actually, love is too mild. He LOVED peanut butter sandwiches. For every meal, he wanted a peanut butter sandwich: not a peanut butter sandwich with jelly… just a peanut butter sandwich. We traveled to restaurants having to carry a paper bag that contained, you guessed it: a peanut butter sandwich.
Can you imagine the looks we received from food servers in a restaurant? “We would like two shrimp dinners. My son brought his own food. Nothing personal! Do you mind?”
Stephen was also stubborn. Especially when it came to his eating habits. When he set his little mind to something, it was like trying to stop a freight train. I don’t know where he picked up that trait. (You can stop laughing now.)
Me: “Would you like a hot dog?”
Stephen: “No!” You could see his look of determination.
Me again: “How about some spaghetti?”
My drama boy: “No!” A tear was beginning to form in one eye.
Frustrated me: “Please eat the broccoli?”
Stephen with tears flowing: “No! I want my peanut butter sandwich!!”
Something had to be done! (I know better now but Stephen was my first child. I hadn’t read the child training manual.) My son could end up in college still eating those same peanut butter sandwiches. Can you imagine his first job interview? over lunch? Oh, the shame of it all! Somehow, someway, Stephen needed to broaden his eating habits, and I was determined to help him change. A showdown was brewing!
The day of the big battle started innocently enough. I said to Stephen: “I need to run a few errands. Why don’t you come with me.”
We pulled into the restaurant before the lunch crowd arrived. I ordered the food and set it on the table. The inevitable question beginning the first skirmish soon came. Stephen said: “Where is my peanut butter sandwich?”
I replied: “I didn’t bring a peanut butter sandwich, son. Why don’t you eat this hamburger?” (Can you imagine having to force someone to eat a hamburger? Is the world out of alignment?)
That determined look appeared on his face, and the tears began. “No! I want my peanut butter sandwich!”
“Son, there will be no peanut butter sandwich today. You are going to eat this hamburger!” As father and son squared off in a quiet restaurant, I recalled an old lesson all salespeople must learn. In a battle of stares the one who looks away first, loses. This time, I would not, could not and dared not lose!
Slowly, with a tear trickling down his cheek, he picked up the hamburger and took his first bite. (pause) His face slowly changed from a frown to a slight smile. Then he took a second bite and a third. Then Stephen reached for a fry. Wow! As Mikey in the famous old cereal commercial would say: “He liked it! He liked it!!”
Larry, is there a point to this story? Of course there is. My son settled for the security of peanut butter and overlooked a smorgasbord of delectable food to savor.
In many ways, don’t we all?
We seek security and miss the cultural shifts occurring all around us. Change always involves some level of risk, but a willingness to adapt and change can also lead to golden opportunities.
We complain about our job but never go back to school to acquire new skills.
Others say: “I’m lonely” as they stay home scrolling through Facebook or watching TV.
Many of our churches cry out, “We want to be alive! We want to grow in our faith! We want to receive new families! We want a youth ministry! We want to make a difference in the world!” Yet so few churches are willing to venture beyond what they already know is safe.
It’s time to break the Peanut Butter habit!
Now you know why I wrote this book.
“Digging Deeper: Three Questions for Pastors and Church Leaders” will challenge all of us to walk away from the habits and practices that prevent our churches from being fruitful and effective.