A Positive Side to Being Single

Several years ago, I was leading a discussion at a local church to a group of Single Adults. The topic for discussion was: "Single In A Couples World." There were two questions for them to answer.

1. What is the negative side to being single?

They had ready answers:

• Loneliness
• Financial Difficulties
• Sexual Frustrations
• Lack of Help with Everyday Chores and Maintenance
• Single Parenting Problems

One of the pastors who was attending the meeting as a guest was asked how he would help single adults cope. He stood up and confidently said: "I already know how to help the single adults in my congregation... I help them get married."

The answer for this pastor comes from the answers to the negative issues involved with being single. Marriage is therefore, viewed as the "right" choice, which implies that singleness is the "wrong" choice. There is another way to approach being single. It involves the next question:

        What are some positive sides to being single?

There was a very long silence. They were not accustomed to thinking about the positive aspects of being single so it took some time to find the answers, but eventually the group got more and more excited as the positive answers kept coming.

• Right to Privacy: There is time to be by yourself or be with friends. You have the freedom of choice.
• Independence: This is a chance to choose your lifestyle. You can read a book, take an extra class in school, travel to Spain or attend a party. The choice is yours to make without outside influence.
• Friendships: This is the opportunity to enjoy friendship of all kinds without any outside restrictions or jealousy.
• Financial Freedom: One income may be less than two, but there is only one person to make the decisions. You can choose how you spend your money.

After finding all of these positive aspects of the single life, it became easier to accept singleness as a legitimate lifestyle with negative and positive challenges, not a temporary curse, which must be endured.

Single adults now make up nearly 50% of the population and their numbers are growing rapidly. We need to learn how to include them in our church life. They are real people with joys and sorrows, strengths and needs.

If you are a single adult, I pray this article will encourage you and give some realistic alternatives to living a life pleasing to God. If you are not single remember them in your prayers and include them in your life.