“Torture, Forgiveness & Advent?”                                   

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15)

It sounds so simple and fair. Forgive others and you will be forgiven. Later in Matthew, Jesus tells of a servant who is forgiven a huge debt by the king, but when he is presented a similar opportunity to forgive someone else a much smaller loan instead chooses punishment. The king finds out and calls him back to the royal chambers. “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?” And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured…(Mat 18:32-34)

Maybe the reason this sounds simple and fair is that we’ve talked about something easily measured… money. A guy is forgiven of millions and promptly rushes out to bash someone’s head in over five bucks. This is a no-brainer, Jesus! Of course the idiot should be tortured… right? Then the last verse sneaks up on you. “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive from your heart.”

Wait a minute Jesus! Surely you can’t be talking about me? You don’t know how much I’ve been hurt! My spouse abandoned me… I was abused as a child… My business partner skipped town with all the profits… My employer has been an unmerciful tyrant… Surely you’re not suggesting that I could be tortured for not offering forgiveness?

Perhaps your torture has already begun. There is a stark reality to life we must all face. Nothing can change the fact that tragedies do occur. Your attitude in dealing with catastrophe can be a critical factor in your healing. Forgiveness is a process designed to heal the victim not necessarily free the oppressor. Forgiveness is mentioned more than 90 times in the Bible. A psychiatrist told me she would lose nearly 70% of her patients if they could simply learn to forgive and let go.

At a recent gathering, a father told one of our small groups how his son was murdered less than a year ago and the man who killed him would be going on trial in just a few days. With tearful eyes, he described the struggle he would face, day after day sitting in that courtroom listening to the gruesome testimony and watching the legal maneuvering to protect the murderer.

Our group leader gathered us around to pray for God to give this man Holy courage during the trial. We prayed for justice and we even prayed for God’s grace for the father and the murderer. Several months later, the father wrote, “Before that prayer meeting, I was trapped within my own hatred. Just being able to share my concerns with all of you and knowing that your prayers and God’s love would be with me somehow helped to ease my suffering. It will take a long time to completely forgive and heal but I’m off to a good beginning.”

Advent simply means a time of preparation before the birth of Christ. How do you prepare? Nothing is emphasized in the Bible more often than forgiving love. It’s all part of a Christmas present called God’s grace. Is forgiveness ever easy? Of course not, but it is a vital part of learning to put our complete faith and trust in One who so graciously forgives us. Here is the best part: As you learn to forgive others… you will begin to heal. The alternative is… torture.

This kind of Christmas preparation applies to all of us, from preachers to pew-sitters to sleep-in-forget-about-church-believers. It may be the most important preparation you ever attempt. The “Good News” is that with this kind of preparation you will really appreciate the special baby born on Christmas Day. Have a Merry Christmas.