Divorce - Sowing Seeds of Faith

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A Christian Response to Divorce
Part One

Sherry was married at sixteen and is now the mother of two children under twelve. Abandoned by her husband, she must work outside the home for the first time. She is hurt, financially strapped, depressed, overworked and desperately needs help.

"I hate divorce…" (Malachi 2:16) is God's response to divorce. But I constantly find it necessary to remind the people who attend our divorce recovery workshops: "God hates divorce, but still loves divorced people!" That message needs to be heard. The price for marital breakup is always high.

John's wife left him after 11 years of marriage and took the two children to another state. He cannot see them but once every few months when he makes the thousand mile drive. He is angry with her, with the system, and even God for allowing this to happen.

The statistics are cold and clear.

Fifty percent of those who marry today will divorce.
On the stress scale, divorce and separation are ranked 2nd and 3rd. Only the death of a spouse is rated higher.
More than 80 percent of those who are divorced will remarry within three years and 65 percent of those marriages will fail again.
More than a million children each year are involved in divorce and more than 13 million children under 18 live with one parent so that single parent families are growing at a rate twenty times faster than two parent families.
Phyllis was trapped for 24 years with an alcoholic and abusive husband. She struggled for years trying to decide what to do. Years ago, she went to her pastor who advised her to "stick with it." Now she is divorced, estranged from the church and doesn't know how to get on with her life.

Divorce profoundly effects children, in-laws, friends, businesses, churches and even society itself. The stories of tragedy are numerous. The pain is real. What should be our response?

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A recent Gallup poll seems to indicate that people who experience divorce often draw closer to God by praying and reading the Bible more frequently. However, the same poll also found that those who are separated and divorced feel alienated from their church. The common complaint is that churches are focusing on the needs of intact families and ignoring the divorced.

So many divorced people find a stronger faith in God, yet so few belong to the church. Look at your own church. Of those who have experienced divorce, how many are still active? As a divorced and remarried pastor, I have seen this to be tragically realistic for two reasons.

We have simply not learned how to offer ministry to those going through the emotional, financial and physical pain of divorce.
Those experiencing divorce often mistakenly assume the church will only judge them and therefor avoid any contact with their church family.

The Gallup poll goes on to say, "From the standpoint of the church, divorced people are an intriguing and challenging group to try to serve. Their lack of church involvement may make them appear to be alienated or hostile to religion in general. But their private religious practices -- frequent Bible reading, regular religious television and radio exposure and dedication to prayer -- show that they are far from being a lost cause." With so many people experiencing divorce… isn't there something we can do to help?

To Read Part 2 - Click Here

Last modified Sept. 30, 2000.

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