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“Answers to 'Church: There Is No Place for Me Here'" Part 4

"All those fears keep me away. Right now, I don't care about singles groups. I know enough singles. I want to learn about God. I want support. You said people in church can be your family. That's what I want. Social events are fine but not what I need. I have events. I need the church."

Hundreds responded to the email writer above who also said: “I haven't served a church for years. So why do I read the Bible you sent or try to learn about God and watch religious shows? Why do I do all that but avoid going to church?” Later, the same writer offered his own answers.

“I want to be mentored by someone who will help me because I don't have a church background. I don't want to walk in and right away be told what I should do in the church. It's not that I would never be willing. It's just not where I am right now. When you start a job, you have a supervisor who introduces you to the people you work with. The work environment is better at saying 'you belong' than a typical church. So, people already in a church could sponsor people who aren't.”

Most churches including ours have ushers and greeters at the door to help you feel welcome but what happens after someone enters the worship area? Who will introduce you to others sitting near by or help you understand what's in the bulletin? Some like to sit alone but most don't. Most churches have a visitor center packed with brochures but is someone also ready to talk to you?

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“Maybe the church could say, 'if you want someone to sit with and show you the ropes, call us.' Then he/she could meet with you and help out. I would volunteer to be a mentor if I was already in a church. It wouldn't even take any special skills really: Just a willingness to sit and talk to someone who doesn't want to be alone. It would help so much to have committed church members take you under their wing. It wouldn't be forever just someone to sit by in the service.”

“I know people who don't go because churches have you greet each other. You may say what's wrong with that? It's hard and awkward for a shy person who is alone. We see people talking and laughing then giving a cursory handshake. It wouldn't be as hard if you had someone to sit by.”

As a church we are working hard to expand our small group opportunities because we know if you are in a small group you can better strengthen your relationship with God. We want to better communicate our vision so you will be more excited about our ministry. But none of our groups or visions will be especially helpful if we are not helping our guests feel more welcome and valued.

My email friend also made a suggestion for preachers: “I saw a minister walk out with a black smudge on his face. He pretended not to know it was there. Then a woman in front passed him a mirror. He used the mirror to notice the smudge. Then he took a red washcloth and wiped it off. The black mark represented sin. The mirror represented the law and why we need it. The red washcloth represented the blood of Jesus. How it wipes away our sins. If he only said all that, I probably wouldn't remember anything but the visual made me understand and remember.”

“I am only brainstorming. I probably sound ridiculous but look how motivated I am and I don't go to any church but you didn't turn a deaf ear. You are hearing me. Do you know how motivating that is? It feels good. It makes me want to help because you help me just by hearing what I am saying. You didn't shut the door on me. If you did, for sure I would never go to church.”

Dan Hassett, Author of “God Uses Who He Chooses” writes: “A few years ago, I found myself single in a new town working a new job with a new company. I told God, ‘It's you and me, Lord. I simply want to seek and serve you.’ After a few fits and starts I felt led toward a church. Surprise! I found myself warmly welcomed, invited to dinner, to a Bible study, to take part in a play, to join the choir and to get involved in an addiction recovery ministry. I said yes to all the invitations and soon found myself feeling ‘part of’ the family of God. I even volunteered to drive a church van to pick up people from the halfway houses for recovery services. Paul lauded the single life and urged singles to immerse themselves in Christ and His service. My advice is the same: ‘Seek God and service in His kingdom and He will fill your life with joy and satisfaction too.’”

Next week: More answers I pray will help our church and others do better when it comes to offering God’s love and support. I encourage you to reply to this email your answer to the following question: “What have churches done to offer God’s love and encouragement to you? How could churches do a better job?” Send responses to mailto:LarryDavies@SowingSeedsofFaith.com

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Last modified May 22, 2006.

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