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“Mary: A Story of Abuse"

Abuse affects many victims and comes in various disguises: emotional, sexual and physical. What all forms of abuse have in common is the severe damage inflicted. Some victims never recover except through an act of God. Mary is a victim of abuse. I learned about her as a leader for Singles Ministry. Then she asked to join our Bible study. A few years ago, Mary volunteered to write down her experiences. This letter is from her to you.

“’Be glad you’ve got me, because nobody else would want you.’ Can you imagine saying those words to someone? Worse yet, can you imagine your husband saying those words to you? It happened to a lady I know. I know her well. Hers is the face I see each time I look in the mirror.”

“I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have a problem with low self-esteem. All my life I tried to do and be what my family wanted. I was afraid that if I didn’t act the way they wanted, they wouldn’t love me. I didn’t see much in myself that was lovable.”

“The only one whose love I knew was unconditional and never-ending was Daddy’s. Sure, I might do something that would disappoint him, but he’d never stop loving me. I wanted very much to be married. I wanted to belong to someone. I wanted someone to love me because they want to, not because they have to. To me, family had to love you, or at least pretend real good.”

Abuse in all forms, especially in the home is rampant and seems to be increasing. Child abuse, spouse abuse and elder abuse effects significantly more people than you may realize. Three to six million families may be affected by different forms of abuse in the United States alone.

Jesus in chapter 5 of Matthew condemned not only murder but even angry thoughts toward another. In the letter, 1 Timothy, we read about the importance of treating the elderly with respect. Yet abuse even among Christians continues. Question: Why would one person hurt another?

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Mary’s letter continues: “Bob and I knew each other all my life. Our parents grew up together. Bob was 18 years older. He was an alcoholic, a drug addict and was out of work most of the time. I was 24 when we got married. It didn’t matter what anyone said to me. I was in love.”

“I don’t remember the first time he used the ‘mind games,’ but I do remember the first time he hit me. I’ll never forget it. The “mind games” or mental abuse happened more frequently though. Everything that went wrong was my fault. I loved Bob and considered him my best friend therefore he must be telling me the truth. Your best friend wouldn’t lie to you...would he?”

First: If you are a victim of abuse, hear this message: “It is not your fault! You did nothing wrong. You did not ask for the abuse heaped upon you. There is little you can do to stop the abuser. ”

Mary continues: “Do you notice who’s missing from my story so far: God? He had no active role in my life. I didn’t even think God cared about me. One time I remember talking to God. I was sitting at the top of the steps, wishing to make myself dive down headfirst and end it all. I was at the end of my rope. Bob told me more than once that if I ever left him, he’d kill me. I believed him.”

“As I sat on those steps, I cried out to God: ‘What have I done so bad that I deserve to be punished like this?’”

Next: Mary will continue describing her abuse and how she received help from God. Are you a victim of emotional, physical or sexual abuse? Are you an abuser? There is help available that requires hard work and emotional struggle. Most counselors recommend an extensive recovery process involving counseling, support from a caring group and God. The more God is involved in the counseling process, the quicker you will heal. This is where your church can be helpful. Pick up the phone right now and call your pastor to ask for help.

Click here for the Conclusion of "Mary: A Story of Abuse."

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Last modified April 13, 2007.

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